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My Precious Kid® - Precious Kids Newsletter
September 2006
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Subjects: Homeschool / Adoption / Parenting / Work at Home
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Thank you for subscribing. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/preciouskids/ 

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PARENTING

This summer has been busy and hectic for us. We moved April 1st into a larger older home with lots to do on it. Business has greatly increased and this home has room for all my products. My oldest daughter Melissa (23) is having a baby in December ( our first grand child). My son Jordan (21) moved out a month ago and got married July 8th. My next daughter Allison (18) is preparing for a Germany missions trip and started a new job at a local bank. And Haley (6) is preparing for first grade a new Christian school this fall. My hubby has traveled a lot this summer leaving Haley and I to ourselves.

I have a learned a few things in this season. Haley needs some structure even in the midst of all this chaos and change. My wonderful husband is the one who brings order to our home. When hubby is gone I tend to not cook and we eat too much processed food and fast food. I also tend to clean less and work more. I am learning to take time just to do fun things with Haley is this season.

She learned to ride a bike without raining wheels. Our street does not have a place she can ride alone so she asks me daily to ride with her. I find it is good for both her and I to get and out and ride. I need to do it more often.

As a work at home more the job is always hear. Since business is so busy there is always things to do. I need to be better at closing the door at 5 pm and stepping away. It is better for my mind, body, and attitude. It is also better for my family. I am learning to find the balance.

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ADOPTION

It is interesting to me how my attitudes about adoption have changed over the years. When were looking for a baby to adopt I figured it would be a closed adoption and we would simply step in as parents.

Once we connected with a birth family it was clear this was the beginning of a relationship that would last a lifetime. Haley's birth parents are near the ages of my oldest children. We became friends thru the process. I grieved and cried with them in their grief of placing Haley. They knew it was right for them and for Haley but very hard to walk. They know how much we love her.

IN the beginning months after the adoption we had lots of contact with her birth mother. We talked by phone, email and IM several times a week. She wanted to know all the details of Haley. I was glad to include her in the process. I prayed for them and loved them as they walked thru the grieving process.

As the years have gone on there seems to be less and less contact as they have gone on with their live. They have both married and her birth dad has another child now. I still have contact with the grand parents a few times a year.

As an adoptive mom I am asked if it worried me having such an open relationship with her birth family. I can say absolutely not. They ask if I worry they will come want her back. Again I can say no. They know she is where she was meant to be and that we love her very much. They express their love to her often as well. And she is legally our daughter for a lifetime.

As Haley has turned 6 there have been more and more questions about adoption. We have freely answered them all. She asked how we adopted her. I told her that for 7 years I prayed for the baby God had chosen for us. And her birth parents prayed for the family God had chosen for her. And she says "And GOD picked you!

She explains it in her words. "Sissy was born out of your tummy. I was born our of C's tummy. Then you flew to come get me and be my mommy". I tell her yes! Then she said to me the other day. "We should buy C a present." I say ok and ask is she means for her birthday. She says "No. She gave me to you and that was very nice. I am glad she picked you and want to give her a gift". So we went and Haley picked out a beautiful heart necklace and earrings that we sent. C sent a beautiful note back tell of her love for Haley and that she was glad too that she picked us.

Open adoption is a beautiful thing and blends two families together in love. Haley is blessed to have a Daddy and Mama, a birth dad and birth mom, 2 sisters, 1 brother, 1 sister-inlaw, 1 brother-in-law, 4 grandma's, 4 grandpa's, and great grand parents, and many aunts and uncles who love her.

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